You Are Your Friends. Choose Wisely.

In Life

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. – Jim Rohn

Travel & Friends

Jim Rohn is one of my favourite motivational speakers and a few years ago I read a quote from him that said “you are the five people you spend the most time with.”

I thought about this a lot and I agree with Jim that your friends, whether you notice it or not, shape who you become as a person.

I get to meet a lot of people on the road from lots of different backgrounds and cultures.

For a long time, I wanted to be a people pleaser and become friends with everyone I met.

After a while I fathomed out that this methodology wasn’t serving me, and if i continued living this way, I wouldn’t get to know anyone at all.

This got me thinking a lot about my current friend circle and who I spend my time getting to know.

Have you ever thought about who you keep in your friend circle and what impact they are having on you?

Choosing your Circle

Here are a few thoughts on forming a friend circle which will help you grow into the best version of yourself:

1. Quality over quantity

With the prominence of social media, it’s easy to acquire 500 connections. But how many of them connections will become meaningful friends?

When travelling you have the opportunity to connect with people all over the world, but if you’re not selective, you might end up getting to know no one at all.

It is said that the human mind cannot deal with more than 150 connections. Therefore it’s crucial to focus on quality and find people who make you tick.

Put all your effort into 10-15 quality relationships rather than diluting yourself over 500 mediocre connections.

2. Negative People

We all have those perpetually negative friends in our circle. If you can’t or don’t want to deal with their problems, be brutal and cut them out of your life completely.

The more time you spend around negative people, the more negative you will become.

As the Law of Attraction states, surround yourself with enthusiastic and happy people for long enough, and sure enough, you’ll pick up on their vibe too.

3. Diversity

I believe it’s very important to have a range of friends for different purposes and needs rather than getting to know people who like exactly the same things as you.

The more diverse your friend group, the better. Think outside the box and find friends who can serve you spiritually, professionally, socially, in sports, or even for new ideas.

4. Friends who Challenge your beliefs and thoughts

Spend your time around people who make you stretch, rather than those who superficially please you by telling you what you want to hear. An honest and sincere opinion is worth a lot more than something that has been sugar coated to keep peace.

Really trusting friends will help you identify your blind spots and challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

5. Find Changemakers

For those who want to take life to the next level, make a point to surround yourself with people who are better than you.

To do this spend time researching and tracking down the changemakers of the world.

Find unique ways to approach them and enter their circle.

Spend time getting to know them and genuinely being interested in what they do.

Examine their life and take the things you like, and mould them into your life.

Changemakers will introduce you to new opportunities and will help you grow to new dimensions.

Going Forward

Life is defined by the quality of our relationships.

Your time is limited on this planet so it’s worth spending it creating memorable experiences with people who matter to you.

On a final note, I think Jim’s concept extends much beyond just “friends” shaping who we become.

From what we do, see, experience, we are in fact everything we place our conscious attention and intention on.

That’s another topic entirely, and we’ll save that discussion for a future article.

Thanks for reading and all the best,

Daniel Beaumont, Sunday 14th February 2016

About the Author

Hello everyone, I’m Dan – a 28-year-old social entrepreneur and writer from the north of England, living in Bucharest, Romania. I’m currently writing my first book about my 4-year journey around the world seeking wisdom and life-lessons from everyday people I met hitchhiking and Couchsurfing.

I discovered that travel, if approached with the right mindset, can be life-changing, and a trip combining travel, purpose and introspection is a great way to learn, challenge oneself and change for the better. Now my mission in life is to share what I’ve learned to inspire others to embark on their own journey of self-discovery and use travel, entrepreneurship and technology as a means to make the world a better place.

I’m also the founder of Podstel – a vision to help humanity belong and grow by creating a worldwide network of ‘homes’ that bring locals and travellers together to share their stories, passions and skills. The first two Podstels are open and thriving in Bucharest, so if you’re passing through, be sure to come and say hi, or stay the night with us.

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