Learning To Say No

In Life
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Trying to please everybody is impossible – if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it. – John Lennon

People Pleaser 

Do you find it difficult to say no? Are you living life with other people’s expectations?

I did for a very long time. 

I grew up with a “yes man” mentality and could never find the courage to say no.

I thought that if I said no I’d be judged and people would find me boring or abrasive.

Maybe I had a desire for everyone to like me? Maybe I wanted to avoid confrontation?

I took this attitude travelling too. I’d hop from place to place, meeting new groups of really interesting people and after a while of getting to know each other, the conversation would usually go:

“Come on let’s drink, go on a night out Dan and have some fun.”

I’d been travelling for 3 years and the novelty of this kind of scene had worn off for me, but I could never be up front and say NO.

What if I miss out, or they judge me, find me boring, uninteresting, or abrasive?

And that was my life for a couple of years. I went with the flow, and didn’t rock the boat, until one day, I decided to say NO.

 

Learn To Say No

For a while, saying no made me feel like a big fun sponge and of course didn’t make me the most popular person in the hostel.

But in time, I felt like I was living closer to my true self, values and beliefs.

Paradoxically, over time, and to my surprise, people started to appreciate me more.

By saying no, I began to do the following:

  1. If I didn’t desire it, I didn’t do it.
  2. I dropped other people’s expectations and started doing what i wanted to do.
  3. I learned to be more confident in my own skin.
  4. I stopped spreading myself thin.
  5. I found more time for new opportunities and my passions.

Do What You Desire

For me life is about doing what I love, as much as possible, with people who matter to ME.

What do you desire?

Say no, and start doing more of what you desire and live closer to your true desires and values in life.

Become stricter with your time and be willing to make sacrifices.

Start saying no to smaller things in your life, and continually remind yourself, that you are at your happiest and most useful to other people when you are living a life that is true to yourself.

There’s power in saying no, and over time you will open up more space for the people and things that matter in your life.

Don’t worry about whether people will judge you. If you are living a life closer to your true self, that will show, and over time the people who matter to YOU will respect that.


Conclusion
 

Building up the courage to say no opens up space and time for the things that really matter in life.

A life well lived, is a life lived closely to your true desires, values and morales.

At the end of it all, it doesn’t matter what people think about you, what matters is what you think about yourself and how you feel in your own skin.

Thanks for reading!

All the best, Daniel Beaumont, 15th December 2016


About the Author

Hello everyone, I’m Dan – a 28-year-old social entrepreneur and writer from the north of England, living in Bucharest, Romania. I’m currently writing my first book about my 4-year journey around the world seeking wisdom and life-lessons from everyday people I met hitchhiking and Couchsurfing.

I discovered that travel, if approached with the right mindset, can be life-changing, and a trip combining travel, purpose and introspection is a great way to learn, challenge oneself and change for the better. Now my mission in life is to share what I’ve learned to inspire others to embark on their own journey of self-discovery and use travel, entrepreneurship and technology as a means to make the world a better place.

I’m also the founder of Podstel – a vision to help humanity belong and grow by creating a worldwide network of ‘homes’ that bring locals and travellers together to share their stories, passions and skills. The first two Podstels are open and thriving in Bucharest, so if you’re passing through, be sure to come and say hi, or stay the night with us.

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